[Asking for Xichen’s help in playing the guqin had been a good idea in many, many different ways. He’d accounted for and planned for it all. It allowed him to spend some time out of Lanling and the narrowed looks sent his way down the noses of those that thought themselves his betters, away from the whispers behind cupped hands and the sharp eyes just waiting for a reason to topple him.
No good deed goes unpunished, as they say, so perhaps it better he didn’t try at all.
These meetings offered in Gusu gave him the sort of peace he never could quite find anywhere else, though not just for the tranquility the landscape offered. It was also aided by the man presiding over his musical lessons, the eyes that never looked at him with derision or scorn, that never looked down on him.
Jin Guangyao was a man of ambition and patience; he could god himself together in the face of any humiliation or distraction, biding his time, playing the long game when he was so certain of the worthy payoff that would be rewarded to him.
He was not, however, at all prepared for Lan Xichen’s gentle instructions to be plaguing him as it was. Someone’s hands shouldn’t look that good sliding over the strings and plucking at them. He thinks the only thing worse would have been if Jin Guangyao had gotten it in his mind to ask about playing the xiao instead, because he’s seen Xichen play before, many times in fact. And seeing his mouth held steady to the tip of the instrument, poised and polished as he was, only fueled an imagination full of Xichen’s lips pressed to other things, or Guangyao practicing his technique in much more hands-on ways, or—
He doesn’t even have to fake his mistake this time, fingers plucking too harshly at the wrong time, the off-kilter twang of the string cracks sharply out of place in the cool air, and he winces with a soft hiss of displeasure at his mistake. He pulls his hand back and glances at Xichen through his eyelashes, bashful, his apologetic smile holding the hint of dimples]
Forgive me, Er-ge. My mind was elsewhere for a moment.
[Yao could ask anything and Xichen would do all in his power to grant it. He doesn't see the other man as lesser, despite his birth status. People had whispered, derided, often outright mocked Meng Yao. But not Lan Xichen.
Teaching him to play the guqin is a pleasure, none the least because it gives Xichen the chance to spend time with him. And a quiet, peaceful place away from those hurtful looks and whispers, for most of the Lan Sect had better manners than that. He likes the intelligence and quick wit Guangyao shows, and doesn't really even bother hiding the frequency he finds to smile his way.
The sharp mistake has him blink and pause, gaze sharpening his friend's way before gentling along with the smile he answers Yao with. He gently stills the strings of his guqin and sits back, no hint of annoyance or frustration in face or posture.]
There is nothing to forgive. Only- if what is on your mind is something I can help you with, I hope you will share it.
[Guangyao shakes his head, apologetic and a bit embarrassed--he doesn't have to fake that much either, since it was his own traitorous thoughts that had betrayed him here.]
I'm afraid there's always much on my mind these days, but this time with you always helps to soothe it.
[His gaze lowers to the guqin strings-- or rather, the hands that lie atop the strings and he takes a breath, releasing slowly. Jin Guangyao is not a man adverse to taking risks, but only when he can be reasonably sure of his victory (or, at the least, that a loss would be in his favor anyhow), so he speaks carefully, gauging every movement and weighing it against the decision to speak up more.]
He survived. Somehow, some way, he survived. It took months for him to regain his strength in a place that was dark and quiet. It took even longer for him to adjust to having one arm.
His ally kept themselves hidden the entire time, lashing him into the saddle of a horse unexpectedly. They made the long journey to the Cloud Recesses together, though he was not aware of their destination at first. Meng Yao began to panic, however, when he recognized their surroundings. His companion showed no sign of caring, which was perhaps understandable considering his so-called ally revealed himself to be none other than a Lan disciple.
Oh.
His companion walked off, leaving him alone, tied to a horse and trembling. Death might have been kinder than this.
The cold is searing and his shoulder especially aches, reminding him of what he lacks. He loses track of time and he distracts himself by clenching whatever his only hand can grab. How long will he be left here? They, at least, won't abandon the horse.
Surely that means another fate awaits him?
He flinches at the first touch, holding his breath as he fights to stand on his feet. The warm cloak is positively heavenly and he turns his head to thank the one responsible - only to freeze.
"Zewu-Jun..." he falls to his knees, bowing his head lower than ever before.
Every single time. Since they'd first met. Probably forever.
Xichen slowly, slightly, shakes his head, helping him up the steps and on inside. The house is a prison, yes. But a comfortable one. He guides Meng Yao to the bed and helps him sit, fussing a little with the cloak and checking the state of the shoulder above the missing arm.
"I wanted you here. It only took more time than expected." But he knows it had given Meng Yao time to heal.
He draws in a quiet, centering breath before finally meeting his sworn brother's eyes. There's an echo of pain, of regret.
A prison near Xichen - a prison wherein he can see Xichen - is no prison at all. Meng Yao almost tries to help remove the cloak before he remembers...
He has learned to do much with one hand, but there are tasks that are difficult. Like cloak clasps.
"Why would you go to such lengths for me? Forgive me, Zewu-Jun, but I am a danger to you." Meng Yao frowns, shifting forward subconsciously, "Sorry? For saving my life?"
Waking left him disoriented, his eyes blinking slowly as the ceiling came into the view, the voices below proof enough they were somewhere inhabited but his last memories were disordered. He remembered the temple but the actual timeline wasn't playing out clearly, maybe because he'd passed out at some point after strong arms had lifted him and while his vision had been dim, they were familiar enough.
Not that he'd wanted to relax, but the choice had been taken from him, bloodloss making him lightheaded until he just went limp.
And now?
His head ached, his eyes burned and his mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton as he tried to sit up.
The voice is familiar, his eyes opening as Guangyao turns his head for a moment once he's sitting up, gaze meeting that of Xichen before he turns back to the cup. It's warm, sliding down his throat soothingly and he drinks slowly.
By the time he's done, he can at least think enough to form words. "...Why?" Not that he elaborates on what it's about but Xichen should know better than anyone what he's asking.
Xichen is a little thinner than Guangyao would remember. A worried line creases his brow, but it's easing bit by bit the more the wounded man drinks of the tea.
"...Mistakes were made. Now is the time for penance."
"Penance." He lets the cup go, gaze settling on Xichen again. "You should have let me go." It's quiet, his hands settling in his lap while Xichen holds him up.
"The most of what, exactly? Waiting for the rest of the sects to come howling for my blood like they did with Wei Wuxian when he was the one everyone hated? Because I'm not sure that's something I want to make the most of, Er Ge."
He's quiet for a moment. "You could have left me there with Da Ge. Nobody would have blamed you for walking away."
It wasn't Mingjue who had sent work to the Gusu Lan Sect but word had been sent to them all the same. Specifically to Xichen himself. The moods of the other leader were worsening. The other day he'd launched someone across the courtyard without meaning to do so. He needed healing. Music.
Anything.
When Mingjue received word that Xichen was requesting permission to enter his lands, he granted them immediately and went to greet him in the hall, Baxia in the sheathe by the throne. As soon as greetings were exchanged, he dismissed his people and moved toward his friend.
"What brings you, Xichen? You've traveled a good distance."
It was not news that surprised him, as much as Xichen wished otherwise. He wasted no time in answering the request for help. With how his dearest friend's temper had been worsening over the years, he'd done extra research in the library, pouring over every sheet of music that even hinted at healing.
Following his escort once admission was granted, Xichen smiled, bowing his head in warm welcome. He was glad to be left alone after the requisite greetings were done, and moved to meet the other man, studying Mingjue for signs of his current state of mind.
"It has been a while since I came to visit you. And," he paused a little. "Your people are concerned, Da Ge. As am I. I was hoping you would allow me the joy of playing for you."
Immediately he frowned in the direction of the way their escort had gone. For a moment Baxia rattled and he closed his eyes before letting out a breath. He was fine. He could...control this.
Baxia settled and he looked back to Xichen. "This would be best done in privacy."
It was as close as he would admit to the fact that he was struggling today. And Xichen's calming presence... Well it was welcome to say the least. Looking to him, he nodded to confirm his own words before taking Baxia so he could bring it with them to his chambers where he closed the door behind them.
"I didn't wish to trouble you, Xichen. You must be busy."
This almost felt like a dream. The two of them have been on the run from the Wens for a few months by now. They were currently hiding out in a long-abandoned home away from any of the major towns. Nowhere anyone could find them. Give them some time to heal, rest and wash their clothes.
Meng Yao came into the small clean room they shared, arms full of clean laundry. He set the clean sheets over their straw bedding, hoping it would help with the itchiness of the hay.
"The water is almost done heating up, did you want a bath A-Huan? It has been a long trek, I think it would do good on our sore muscles," he spoke softly. He was traveling with the most beautiful youth he had ever met.
A good dream, despite the reason behind their flight. Xichen has very little to actually complain about, though he wishes he had more information on what was happening back home. And he wishes he didn't have to rely quite so much on Meng Yao doing so much for them, but his lack of knowledge or experience on most of what is needed on this venture requires it.
He still does his best, even if that ends up being...a rather pathetic end. Though he is able, when Meng Yao returns with the laundry, to help spread the sheets over the straw. The temptation of a bath is too strong, and he smiles gratefully at the other man.
"You have worked so hard, A-Yao," he answers just as softly. "Yes. We should bathe and let our muscles relax with the heat."
"No trouble at all." He smiled and nodded, blushing softly.
"I can grab the tub, I have already cleaned it out. If you wanted to get hot water that will be very helpful. A-Huan." he wanted to give him things to do and he was so much stronger than him. And didn't want him to feel useless he wasn't at all. He had a different skill set and is amazing at the kind of things he can do.
"I think that will be nice, and a nap after. Enjoy a few quiet days like this before we have to move again."
And as ever, Meng Yao knows how to use his strengths. Xichen nods without a second's hesitation. "Of course." Being beneath his station doesn't mean a thing to him. Mistreating those who work so hard to better the lives of others makes no sense to him, and so he never does. He does his best to treat everyone with respect.
"May I help put the clothes away before we get the tub and water?"
He nods again, agreeing about the nap after a nice bath. "Rest is needed for any body's recovery." He's just glad he's recovered enough to be less of a burden on his dear friend.
"Of course! Many hands make light work after all." it was one of the things he loved about his friend. The thing that he couldn't stop the swelling feeling that rose in his chest whenever he saw him. That kindness and respect for everyone no matter who they are.
He knelt down on the bed and began to show him how to fold them properly, before letting him have half.
His eyes darted to his face, wondering why he had such a strong urge to kiss him. He had never felt this way before, about anyone.
He loves how readily the other agrees, and how patiently Meng Yao begins to show him how to fold things. Xichen watches intently, kneeling beside him. And so when the half is set before him, he smiles his thanks before getting to work.
His attempts are...well. Functional. But with each garment, he improves just a little. Xichen can't help enjoy the work, though more because of the company and being able to help. He feels that glance and it threatens to make him flush, but he doesn't allow himself to show...how very much he likes the thought of lips being pressed to his - this kind young man's lips, to be precise.
He smiled as he watched Xichen work. He was lovely and hardworking, willing to learn. As he finished he set it with the ones he did, all of them set and ready to be out away. They will feel good freshly bathed and in clean clothes.
He looked away flushing deeper. It was easy to forget their identities in this place. They weren't whoreson Meng Yao and Sect Heir Lan Xichen, they were just A-Yao and A-Huan.
This simple life that one could pretend they weren't in a war, that A-Huan wasn't in danger. it was such a nice fantasy to fall into.
He stands up, knees creaking a little bit as he did, and stretched his arms out.
"You should go first, in the bath. I have some fermented rice water we can put in your hair as well. Mama used to do it and it made it so shiny."
He'd admit to looking forward to being freshly bathed and clothed. This isn't the Cloud Recesses, or the Unclean Realm. But A-Yao is with him. So they are making do with what little they have. It's enough for now.
Xichen blinks at the words, but hears the cracks of those knees and shakes his head a little, gaze still lowered.
"You have been working hard. You should go first, while the water is warmest." He's used to cold water. But he smiles at the glimpse at Meng Yao's mother, how she'd cared for her son. "Is there enough for both of us?"
"No no no, I couldn't." he blushed. He knew that he didn't mind but how could Meng Yao subject him to bathe in used water. For him he was used to things like that but to ask gentry to... Never.
"Yes. I do. And when we make dinner I can set aside the rice water we wash the rice with to ferment for more." He squeezed his shoulder gently and walked over to get the tub ready. It was already scrubbed clean. It just had to be moved into the middle of the room.
"Does vegetable soup and rice sound good to you tonight?"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
chiming
Continuing TFLN thread
Date: 2019-11-11 07:49 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2019-11-11 07:50 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2019-11-11 09:37 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2019-11-11 09:54 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2019-11-11 10:14 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2019-11-11 11:51 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2019-11-12 12:07 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2019-11-12 12:09 am (UTC)From:U asked for this
Date: 2019-12-11 08:17 am (UTC)From:No good deed goes unpunished, as they say, so perhaps it better he didn’t try at all.
These meetings offered in Gusu gave him the sort of peace he never could quite find anywhere else, though not just for the tranquility the landscape offered. It was also aided by the man presiding over his musical lessons, the eyes that never looked at him with derision or scorn, that never looked down on him.
Jin Guangyao was a man of ambition and patience; he could god himself together in the face of any humiliation or distraction, biding his time, playing the long game when he was so certain of the worthy payoff that would be rewarded to him.
He was not, however, at all prepared for Lan Xichen’s gentle instructions to be plaguing him as it was. Someone’s hands shouldn’t look that good sliding over the strings and plucking at them. He thinks the only thing worse would have been if Jin Guangyao had gotten it in his mind to ask about playing the xiao instead, because he’s seen Xichen play before, many times in fact. And seeing his mouth held steady to the tip of the instrument, poised and polished as he was, only fueled an imagination full of Xichen’s lips pressed to other things, or Guangyao practicing his technique in much more hands-on ways, or—
He doesn’t even have to fake his mistake this time, fingers plucking too harshly at the wrong time, the off-kilter twang of the string cracks sharply out of place in the cool air, and he winces with a soft hiss of displeasure at his mistake. He pulls his hand back and glances at Xichen through his eyelashes, bashful, his apologetic smile holding the hint of dimples]
Forgive me, Er-ge. My mind was elsewhere for a moment.
I did and have no regrets~
Date: 2019-12-15 05:59 pm (UTC)From:Teaching him to play the guqin is a pleasure, none the least because it gives Xichen the chance to spend time with him. And a quiet, peaceful place away from those hurtful looks and whispers, for most of the Lan Sect had better manners than that. He likes the intelligence and quick wit Guangyao shows, and doesn't really even bother hiding the frequency he finds to smile his way.
The sharp mistake has him blink and pause, gaze sharpening his friend's way before gentling along with the smile he answers Yao with. He gently stills the strings of his guqin and sits back, no hint of annoyance or frustration in face or posture.]
There is nothing to forgive. Only- if what is on your mind is something I can help you with, I hope you will share it.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-18 03:24 am (UTC)From:I'm afraid there's always much on my mind these days, but this time with you always helps to soothe it.
[His gaze lowers to the guqin strings-- or rather, the hands that lie atop the strings and he takes a breath, releasing slowly. Jin Guangyao is not a man adverse to taking risks, but only when he can be reasonably sure of his victory (or, at the least, that a loss would be in his favor anyhow), so he speaks carefully, gauging every movement and weighing it against the decision to speak up more.]
You are quite the unparalleled distraction.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-31 02:22 am (UTC)From:His ally kept themselves hidden the entire time, lashing him into the saddle of a horse unexpectedly. They made the long journey to the Cloud Recesses together, though he was not aware of their destination at first. Meng Yao began to panic, however, when he recognized their surroundings. His companion showed no sign of caring, which was perhaps understandable considering his so-called ally revealed himself to be none other than a Lan disciple.
Oh.
His companion walked off, leaving him alone, tied to a horse and trembling. Death might have been kinder than this.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-31 02:30 am (UTC)From:Maybe an hour.
It starts to snow, and still he must wait.
But eventually, there are quiet footsteps approaching from behind, where Meng Yao can't see. Ropes are untied and gentle hands help him off the horse.
His benefactor's face is finally revealed as he drapes a warm cloak over Meng Yao.
Lan Xichen.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-31 02:36 am (UTC)From:Surely that means another fate awaits him?
He flinches at the first touch, holding his breath as he fights to stand on his feet. The warm cloak is positively heavenly and he turns his head to thank the one responsible - only to freeze.
"Zewu-Jun..." he falls to his knees, bowing his head lower than ever before.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-31 02:57 am (UTC)From:Seeing Meng Yao again has his heart clench painfully. But it's secondary to the relief that the other man is alive.
"We need to get you inside."
Not to the main houses. No. He guides the other man to the small house his mother had once used.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-31 03:12 am (UTC)From:If he is given the smallest chance to show...
No, that is a dream of a dream.
"I didn't know..." he murmurs, "I did not mean to burden you."
However... He glances at the other man.
"But this is a gift. I can see you again."
no subject
Date: 2019-12-31 03:40 am (UTC)From:Xichen slowly, slightly, shakes his head, helping him up the steps and on inside. The house is a prison, yes. But a comfortable one. He guides Meng Yao to the bed and helps him sit, fussing a little with the cloak and checking the state of the shoulder above the missing arm.
"I wanted you here. It only took more time than expected." But he knows it had given Meng Yao time to heal.
He draws in a quiet, centering breath before finally meeting his sworn brother's eyes. There's an echo of pain, of regret.
"I am sorry."
no subject
Date: 2019-12-31 03:49 am (UTC)From:He has learned to do much with one hand, but there are tasks that are difficult. Like cloak clasps.
"Why would you go to such lengths for me? Forgive me, Zewu-Jun, but I am a danger to you." Meng Yao frowns, shifting forward subconsciously, "Sorry? For saving my life?"
Trying this
Date: 2020-02-05 12:48 pm (UTC)From:Not that he'd wanted to relax, but the choice had been taken from him, bloodloss making him lightheaded until he just went limp.
And now?
His head ached, his eyes burned and his mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton as he tried to sit up.
>D
Date: 2020-02-05 01:35 pm (UTC)From:"Drink," a familiar voice says quietly from behind and a little above. "It is medicinal tea to help you heal."
Re: >D
Date: 2020-02-05 01:40 pm (UTC)From:By the time he's done, he can at least think enough to form words. "...Why?" Not that he elaborates on what it's about but Xichen should know better than anyone what he's asking.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-05 01:45 pm (UTC)From:"...Mistakes were made. Now is the time for penance."
For both of them.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-05 02:17 pm (UTC)From:"You didn't have to save me."
no subject
Date: 2020-02-05 02:33 pm (UTC)From:"Maybe," he agrees, not moving away. "You are here now. Will you not try and make the most of it?"
Xichen doesn't smile, hasn't smiled since everything became clear. "I saved you because I saw no other choice for myself."
no subject
Date: 2020-02-05 02:41 pm (UTC)From:He's quiet for a moment. "You could have left me there with Da Ge. Nobody would have blamed you for walking away."
no subject
Date: 2020-09-26 04:25 am (UTC)From:Anything.
When Mingjue received word that Xichen was requesting permission to enter his lands, he granted them immediately and went to greet him in the hall, Baxia in the sheathe by the throne. As soon as greetings were exchanged, he dismissed his people and moved toward his friend.
"What brings you, Xichen? You've traveled a good distance."
no subject
Date: 2020-09-26 04:47 am (UTC)From:Following his escort once admission was granted, Xichen smiled, bowing his head in warm welcome. He was glad to be left alone after the requisite greetings were done, and moved to meet the other man, studying Mingjue for signs of his current state of mind.
"It has been a while since I came to visit you. And," he paused a little. "Your people are concerned, Da Ge. As am I. I was hoping you would allow me the joy of playing for you."
no subject
Date: 2020-09-26 04:57 am (UTC)From:Baxia settled and he looked back to Xichen. "This would be best done in privacy."
It was as close as he would admit to the fact that he was struggling today. And Xichen's calming presence... Well it was welcome to say the least. Looking to him, he nodded to confirm his own words before taking Baxia so he could bring it with them to his chambers where he closed the door behind them.
"I didn't wish to trouble you, Xichen. You must be busy."
no subject
Date: 2021-08-16 05:23 am (UTC)From:Meng Yao came into the small clean room they shared, arms full of clean laundry. He set the clean sheets over their straw bedding, hoping it would help with the itchiness of the hay.
"The water is almost done heating up, did you want a bath A-Huan? It has been a long trek, I think it would do good on our sore muscles," he spoke softly. He was traveling with the most beautiful youth he had ever met.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-16 05:29 am (UTC)From:He still does his best, even if that ends up being...a rather pathetic end. Though he is able, when Meng Yao returns with the laundry, to help spread the sheets over the straw. The temptation of a bath is too strong, and he smiles gratefully at the other man.
"You have worked so hard, A-Yao," he answers just as softly. "Yes. We should bathe and let our muscles relax with the heat."
no subject
Date: 2021-08-16 05:53 am (UTC)From:"I can grab the tub, I have already cleaned it out. If you wanted to get hot water that will be very helpful. A-Huan." he wanted to give him things to do and he was so much stronger than him. And didn't want him to feel useless he wasn't at all. He had a different skill set and is amazing at the kind of things he can do.
"I think that will be nice, and a nap after. Enjoy a few quiet days like this before we have to move again."
no subject
Date: 2021-08-16 06:09 am (UTC)From:"May I help put the clothes away before we get the tub and water?"
He nods again, agreeing about the nap after a nice bath. "Rest is needed for any body's recovery." He's just glad he's recovered enough to be less of a burden on his dear friend.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-16 06:27 am (UTC)From:He knelt down on the bed and began to show him how to fold them properly, before letting him have half.
His eyes darted to his face, wondering why he had such a strong urge to kiss him. He had never felt this way before, about anyone.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-16 07:24 am (UTC)From:His attempts are...well. Functional. But with each garment, he improves just a little. Xichen can't help enjoy the work, though more because of the company and being able to help. He feels that glance and it threatens to make him flush, but he doesn't allow himself to show...how very much he likes the thought of lips being pressed to his - this kind young man's lips, to be precise.
It would be too easy to get carried away.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-16 07:58 am (UTC)From:He looked away flushing deeper. It was easy to forget their identities in this place. They weren't whoreson Meng Yao and Sect Heir Lan Xichen, they were just A-Yao and A-Huan.
This simple life that one could pretend they weren't in a war, that A-Huan wasn't in danger. it was such a nice fantasy to fall into.
He stands up, knees creaking a little bit as he did, and stretched his arms out.
"You should go first, in the bath. I have some fermented rice water we can put in your hair as well. Mama used to do it and it made it so shiny."
no subject
Date: 2021-08-16 08:06 am (UTC)From:Xichen blinks at the words, but hears the cracks of those knees and shakes his head a little, gaze still lowered.
"You have been working hard. You should go first, while the water is warmest." He's used to cold water. But he smiles at the glimpse at Meng Yao's mother, how she'd cared for her son. "Is there enough for both of us?"
no subject
Date: 2021-08-16 08:34 am (UTC)From:"Yes. I do. And when we make dinner I can set aside the rice water we wash the rice with to ferment for more." He squeezed his shoulder gently and walked over to get the tub ready. It was already scrubbed clean. It just had to be moved into the middle of the room.
"Does vegetable soup and rice sound good to you tonight?"